She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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