Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
