were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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