so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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