dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
