the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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