I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize