i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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