He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
