"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Randomize
