oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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