So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
