super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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