ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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