Having a random hookup so left but love u
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
