its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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