Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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