I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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