is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
