the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
