i will never coherently bang her
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
