Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
