I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
