So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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