he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
