Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize