This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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