I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
