she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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