So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
