Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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