It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
