Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
