come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
