If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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