I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
