You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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