Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
