dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize