Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
