i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
