What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
