Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
