when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
