Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Someone shattered a urinal.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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