I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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