South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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