anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
