Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
