i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
