there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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