How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize