It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize