I smell stomach acid.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Randomize
