I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
