Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
