you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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